actually on this topic
manpain is a META concept that exists to discuss FICTIONAL SEXISM. in real life, if you laughed about “someone’s manpain”, you would be a disgusting piece of shit for a human being no matter what your gender was. if you were laughing that someone’s life was destroyed by the death of their mom or their fiancee you would be a fucking shitheel not worth my time, and i would not watch a fucking tv series about you.
Oh god yes. Are there people who don’t realize this?
The significant difference between fiction and real life is that in real life things just happen, whereas in fiction things only happen because of choices made by the writer/s.
When fancritics talk about manpain, we’re not mocking Bruce Wayne or Dean Winchester for their suffering; we’re mocking the writers for thinking that hurting them is the best way to tell the story, and that killing (usually female) characters they love is the best way to hurt them.
And perhaps more importantly: Killing off female characters is a good way to “hurt” them that won’t actually hurt them or slow them down, it’ll just make them mad.
"Manpain" is not the same thing as "pain felt by men".
I… mostly agree with this. I want to say, though, that I think there’s a fuzzy border between the two things. That dark, complicated area lies in those situations were media coverage of a crime or other news story gets hyperfocused on the feelings of real men to the loss of perspective on the whole .
In things like the Oscar Pistorius case, the Julian Assange rape allegations, those american jocks I tried not to read too much about whose sports careers were “tragically disrupted” by the fact they raped someone…
The English-speaking world we’re used to obsessive, sympathetic detailed observation of mens’ feelings. We have a massive body of media and literature devoted to them: James Joyce, T. S. Eliot, Salman Rushdie, most Thomas Hardy books, Steinbeck… I could go on for a long-ass time without even really trying. We celebrate Men Having Feelings in a massive, massive proportion of the creative work of Western culture. We celebrate women’s feelings in… Jane Eyre? Bridget Jones’ Diary? Bend It Like Beckham? Romance novels? Most all the books that are as obsessively focused in on a woman as a lot of classics are on men are love stories. The one I can think of that isn’t is We Need To Talk About Kevin, and even that’s about a woman’s love for & loss of her son.
I deeply, strongly believe this shit has knock-on effects, for all of us, men and women and non-binary people. They start in how we tell non-fiction stories in the news, and they move on to how we talk about one another and how we believe one another thinks.